In modern society, sexiness is often seen as superficial—a mere appeal to physical appearance, charm, or allure. But I argue that true sexiness is much deeper and more profound. It’s not just about how you look, but how you live, how you think, and how you move through the world with a sense of power, purpose, and integrity. There’s an ethical dimension to sexiness that transcends the surface. Let’s break it down.
1. Sexiness Starts With Strength
To me, the foundation of sexiness is strength—physical, mental, and emotional. People tend to think of strength as purely physical: muscles, posture, a fit body. But true strength comes from within. It’s your ability to endure hardship, your mental toughness, and your capacity to control your desires. This inner strength radiates outward, making you ethically sexy.
When I say “muscle is sexy,” I mean that strength symbolizes something much larger than just physical appearance. Strength reflects a person’s ability to push their limits, to discipline themselves, and to maintain control over their body and mind . In a world that values comfort and convenience, discipline is rare—and rare things are valuable. This is where ethics come in: If you are strong, you are not just taking care of yourself, but you’re becoming more capable of helping others. There’s nothing sexier than someone who is both self-sufficient and generous.
2. Confidence Without Arrogance
Confidence is key to being sexy. But there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance. The ethical challenge here is to cultivate confidence without making others feel small. You should be proud of your strengths—whether it’s your body, your mind, or your creative abilities—but that pride should not come at the expense of others.
When people criticize you for being too confident, remember this: Most of them are dealing with their own insecurities. If they try to bring you down, it’s often because they envy the strength or confidence they see in you. This is why it’s essential to practice empathy. Understand where others are coming from, but never let their insecurities diminish your light .
3. Sexiness Through Authenticity
One of the most important ethical components of sexiness is authenticity. In a world saturated with filters, edited photos, and scripted personas, there’s an increasing hunger for realness. To be authentically sexy, you need to embrace who you are at your core, flaws and all. You don’t need to play by society’s rules about what makes someone attractive. You need to own who you are, unapologetically.
Part of authenticity is not conforming to external expectations. Whether it’s how you present yourself physically or the way you express your creativity, the key is to do it in a way that feels true to you. In street photography, for example, I always emphasize capturing the world as you see it—not how others tell you it should look. The same applies to sexiness: express yourself in ways that resonate with your core, not just what’s trendy or socially acceptable .
4. The Ethics of Attraction
Ethics play a huge role in attraction. It’s not just about looking good; it’s about the energy you bring into a room. Are you someone who respects others? Do you honor boundaries, show kindness, and genuinely connect with people? These qualities are what make someone truly attractive on a deeper level.
If your sexiness comes from a place of manipulation or deceit—using looks or charm to get what you want without considering the feelings of others—then it’s hollow. Ethical sexiness means engaging with people honestly, being upfront about your intentions, and treating everyone with respect. It’s about building connections based on mutual understanding, not exploitation .
5. Sexiness and Vulnerability
The last element I want to touch on is vulnerability. We often think of sexiness as being about perfection—perfect looks, perfect confidence, perfect everything. But I believe the opposite is true: vulnerability is sexy. It takes strength to be vulnerable, to admit that you don’t have all the answers, or that you have fears and insecurities just like everyone else.
By being vulnerable, you show that you’re human. You invite others to connect with you on a deeper level. And this is where the ethics of sexiness come in: you’re not putting up a false front, pretending to be invincible. Instead, you’re inviting others to see the real you, to connect with you authentically .
Conclusion: Sexiness is Ethical
To be truly sexy, you have to cultivate strength, confidence, authenticity, and vulnerability—all with a sense of ethical responsibility to yourself and others. Sexiness is not just about attracting attention; it’s about how you make others feel and the way you navigate the world with integrity.
By living ethically—by being strong, confident, and authentic—you create a sexiness that goes beyond physical appearance. It becomes something deeper, more lasting, and infinitely more powerful.
Strengthen on, and flex on!